AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he thought i was a dude.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
