it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
zippers are such a cool invention
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
