He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
