dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
