Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i dont even know how to be here
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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