I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
