Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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