I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
