I'm sorry my penis didn't work
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
