and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
