my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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