you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
