I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
