im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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