Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
