Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
