wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
