You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
