dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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