Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
