So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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