i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
