4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
