I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
