i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
