hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
