I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
