We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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