I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Are my feet made of real feet?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
