Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
