I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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