it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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