let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
