This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
