He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
