Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
