please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
