he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
