some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
