Barsexuality is the new black.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
