There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just google imaged poop.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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