Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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