Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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