butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
