carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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