i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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