...so i touched it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
