that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
