I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
soo... how was my night?
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