Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
